this land is your land

These are my people
This is where I come from
We're givin' this life everything we've got and then some
It ain't always pretty
But it's real
It's the way we were made
Wouldn't have it any other way
These are my people
We fall down and we get up
We walk proud and we talk tough
We got heart and we got nerve
Even if we are a bit disturbed

 - Rodney Atkins

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I have made up my mind, and this time for good. Here it will sound like an ex tempore decision, but I promise you, I've been considering the pros and cons of my decision for months, and now I'm finally sure enough to let you know.

I'm moving back where I belong. I'm moving back to good ol' Luumäki, South Karelia. To the little country town I was born in, and where I grew up. Back to the town where everyone knows me, my parents and my grandparents. Where I know everyone and every corner. 

When I moved away after high school, I swore I would NEVER be back. I hated this place from the bottom of my heart, and all I wanted was to live in a city, the bigger the better. I wanted to live somewhere no one knew me, where I could be Anyone and do whatever I wanted without anyone knowing or caring. I wanted to be lost, I wanted to be faceless and I wanted to be anonymous. I wanted to disappear, I wanted to travel the world and never settle down. I wanted to forget my roots, and I wanted to be forgotten... and it was all fun for some time. I was free, 100 %. I didn't care about anyone and didn't let anyone care about me. It was all exactly like I had dreamed my life to be during those teen angsty last years I lived in Luumäki.

...but something has changed in my mind in the last few years. Suddenly I've started to see the bright sides of Luumäki and learnt to appreciate Apple Pie Life. I've lived elsewhere and travelled a lot, and I've learnt Luumäki isn't any worse (or better) than any other place on Earth. It's all up to you. You can live anywhere, and be happy or miserable, it's all about your own attidute. Maybe for the first time in my life, I've learnt to love this little country town. Living elsewhere has opened my eyes, and I think now I finally see what all the Summer People (that's how we call people who have summer cottages here and only come around for summer months) see in Luumäki. I'm glad I left once, and now I'm glad to move back. It wouldn't be the same if I never left. I think I've got some perspective to these things.

About the practical side... living in Luumäki doesn't mean I'd need to give up travelling - if something, it will make it easier. It only takes 2 hours by train to Helsinki (where all the cheap flights take off) as from Joensuu it's a 4-hours train ride. Here I'll live surrounded by relatives and old friends who will always be there to help me whether it's taking care of my plants if I'm away or if my car breaks down. Living in the countryside is much cheaper than in a city - I'll save money for travelling! In Luumäki I can get a two bedroom flat with a decent bathroom and sauna for the rent I'd pay for a closet-sized one room flat in any city - so I can finally afford my OWN home instead of living with flatmates like I've been forced to do in the city. Luumäki has all the basic services, and it only take 20 minutes to the next bigger city (Lappeenranta) by car. I'll get to be close to my sister and nephew, and everyone else in my family. It will be easier to find a job here than it is in Joensuu - I already have my cemetery job here for 5 months a year! I think I will pay a visit to local newspaper's office - I worked there for one summer almost a decade ago - and let them know I'm back and ready write some articles if needed. It will be so much easier to take care of the family business (the properties) while living where the properties actually are than doing it all by phone from 200KM away, too.

So... moving back to Luumäki will by no means make my life poorer, it will make it richer. I won't be missing anything I've had in the city, but I'll gain more. Maybe I'm getting old, but all this sounds awesome to me (we actually discussed about the matter with Miia, and realized a lot of people who grew up here and moved elsewhere, have moved back in their late twenties / early thirties; me and my sister are prime examples!). I'm excited about moving back! It will make my life so much simpler, I will have everything and everyone I might miss around me. I will no longer be the one who always misses everyone's birthday parties year after year! 

And the idea of not living with flatmates anymore... I'm so excited about renting my OWN place! Decorating it exactly like I want it, not making any compromises. Having friends over, and never wondering if flatmates will be there to ruin all the plans. Knowing no one will be home to annoy you when you turn the key in the lock after a tough day. It will be great. I think I will be moving back next fall or at least by January (it will take some time to organize everything, and I'm not in a hurry) but I can already start gathering stuff for my own place. For the summer I'm living at my parents' flat, and they have a roomy storage - I'll take advantage of it and start looking for furniture & other stuff for my home sweet home!

I need to apply for a flat, and I better do it soon, even if I'd be moving in November - I'm looking for a dream flat and home, not just any room to live in. But I have the time and freedom to turn down offers I don't like - that's one of the pros of moving to Luumäki, too. I can crash in my parents' place as long as I find my own place, I can afford to be picky now! I couldn't do it anywhere else since I'd need to stay in a hotel as long as found a flat. But here... like I said, it's all very simple.

I've stopped blaiming Luumäki for my former miseries, but I also understand moving back here won't solve anything. You will have awesome, bad, boring, annoying and plain terrible days no matter where you live! It's not like I'd be marrying Luumäki - I'm just moving back now, and if I one day feel it's time to leave, I'll leave again. I'm not buying a house - I'll be free to leave if I start to feel like I did when I graduated from high school. Right now moving back here feels right, and I've learnt to trust myself and my intuition. 

So... I'm coming back home, and I feel great about it.

yours truly-

(C) photos: Google