the pros of living alone

A.K.A SANNA ON STAGE

Okay, let's make one thing clear first: I've been living on my own for almost a decade now, but I've only lived alone for a month now - before I always lived with flat mates. After this first month (I'm obviously still on a honeymoon with this whole thing!) all I can say is, I LOVE LIVING ALONE!

The last time I was reminded about the pros of living alone, was merely a few hours ago. Fine, I had decided that on Monday (today) I will clean up propelly - do all the dishes (they we're kiii-iiind of piling up), wash the floors and the whole set, you know. The only problem with this awesome plan was that around 6 PM I realized I still hadn't done anything to start cleaning up, and the worst of all - I had absolutely zero interested in doing so. All I wanted to do was to knit & watch The Big Bang Theory!

Well, if there's something I learnt last year, it was this: you must keep the promises you make to yourself. Sure, it's important to keep the promises you make to others as well, but the most important thing is not to let yourself down, never! Because: if you can't trust your own word, how could you ever be confident and in good terms with yourself? You wouldn't like a person who keeps on breaking his/her promises - not even if that person was you, right? ...and this philosophy applies even to the smallest promises, like the one I made to myself last night, that I would clean up on Monday. [ohh, this is turning into one of my philosophy lessons, it wasn't my meaning!] So, I had zero interest in cleaning up, but I was entitled to keep my promise. Here's what I did: (And here comes the it's-so-great-to-live-alone part)

 I put on my finest dress, my favorite high heels, I did my hair, I put make-up on, I put on some Lady Gaga and P!nk on my mp3 player and... had a CLEAN UP PARTY! It was seriously Sanna on Stage, big time! xD Before I knew I was singing my lungs out, literally dancing with the mop and using a soap bottle as a microphone - I got the cleaning up done in record time AND honestly had a great time, too! ;-) So, all you need to have a good time cleaning up, is the right attidute and imagination - I'm not lacking any of those, obviously.

Here's a few more things I've learnt to love while living alone -- of course here someone would say you could do any of these things even if you weren't living alone, but let's face it, I personally wouldn't have guts to do these things if I was living, let's say, with flat mates. But being all on my own... there's nothing to stop me!

• You can go to bed 5AM and sleep till 4PM - and no one gives a rat's ass!
• You can postpone doing dishes as long as you want - and no one gives a rat's ass!
• You can smoke out of kitchen window while having morning coffee - and no one gives a rat's ass!
• If you don't feel like taking rubbish out, you can just leave the bag at the backyard until you feel like actually taking it away - and no one gives a rat's ass!
• You don't have to cook for a week if you don't feel like, just live on ice cream and sandwiches as long as you like - and no one gives a rat's ass!
• You can watch TV with as much volume as you like as late as you like - and no one gives a rat's ass!
• You can stay in your pajamas all day long if you feel like (or clean up in high heels!) or stay inside three days in a row if you don't feel like going out - and no one gives a rat's ass!
• You can make pancakes at 3AM if you get hungry - and no one gives a rat's ass!
• You never need to tiptoe, no matter what time of the day or night it is! 
• You can take a shover whenever you like, even at 2AM - and no one gives a rat's ass!
• You can sing and dance all you like and no one will ever laugh at you and your stupid moves!

...and so on. Long list short: when you live alone, you can practically do whatever you want, and there will never be anyone criticizing you. What a wonderful freedom it is!<3 I understand living alone isn't for everyone, but still I'd hope everyone would get at least a short chance to try it. It IS liberating, after all. Maybe not for a lifetime, but for some time, at least.

And now... since I managed to keep my promise and cleaned up, now it's time to enjoy the night. I made a smoothie out of blueberries I picked up myself, I'm going to continue knitting a sock (I love the yarn!) and watch a few more episodes of The Big Bang Theory... va bene, sounds like a plan, right?

yours truly-

jumping without a parachute

I've been trying to write this entry for a long time, and learnt it doesn't get any easier. There's simply no easy way to explain what has been going on in my mind recently, but I'll try.

I've been thinking about my life a lot recently. I've been questioning my choices, I've been torturing myself with big questions. I've forced myself to admit certain things, and I've struggled with questions about my own motives and other people's expectations. In the end I've found some answers too. And here I thought that was the difficult part! No, the difficult part is to find the right words to tell you what I've learnt about myself and where my life is going now.

I know I can never fully explain what drives me in this life, but I'll try. First, on 26th of April 2010 my beloved mother had a stroke. Then, a month later, I was involved in a pretty bad car accident. These two things changed me -- but only for good. I finally really realized there's no way to know what's going to happen tomorrow. I learnt to appriciate and love life, even the smallest things and rainy days. I promised myself I will never postpone anything, I will enjoy every day of my life like it was my last one - because it might as well be. I know it sounds like a whole punch of clichés, but I'm serious about all this stuff.

I am now 25 years old. People tell me how in my age I should find a boyfriend, get a job, get married, start a  family, buy a house and be responsible. What makes me sad, is that none of those people who are so keen to tell me what I should do with my life, advices me to find a way to be happy. All I hear is talk about jobs, families, houses, and responsibilities - like those things would automatically make me happy. When I tell people I don't really fancy any of those things, they take it as a personal insult and start telling how I should grow up. Newsflash: I've been dealing with losing a parent, I've got a driver's licence, I've lost my virginity, I live on my own, I've studied in university, I run my family's real estate business and I've closed 100,000€ deals, I pay my bills with money I've earned myself, I pay my taxes, and I take full responsibility of all my actions. According to my standards, that makes me a "grown-up", and the rest is none of anyone else's business.

Keeping all this in mind and returning to the original topic - my future - I'm here to confess something. It's a well-known fact that I'm willing to leave university behind after this spring. I've been telling everyone (myself included) how I'd love to study hotel & tourism, how I'm applying to a college in Imatra this spring and hopefully starting those studies next autumn. Okay, here comes the part I've been struggling to confess (even to myself).

I don't want any of that, not now. I'm not just sick of studying in university. I'm sick of studying, period.

I'm going to jump without a parachute.

This spring I'm moving back to South Karelia. My family owns a farmhouse there, and that's where I'm going to move all my belongings. The house has been abandoned for two years, it's old and freezing during the winters, but during the summers it's just fine - and that's all I need right now. I'm pretty sure I'll get my old job at the cemetery back, so I could work and earn money till the end of October. And then... I have some things I need to do before I turn 30.

What I've been thinking recently, is how some doors remain open when some doors close forever. The thing is, most colleges in Finland don't have any age limits, you can go and study if you're 18 or 65. Work & Travel visas are only available for people under 30, and same applies to some volunteer work programs as well. That's what I've been thinking. I'm now 25, and if I go to college, I will graduate when I'm 29. That's too late! This might be my one and only chance, and I'm not going to waste it. People only regret things they didn't do - everything else can be passed with "what's done, it's done" -attidute, you know.

Like I said, I'm going to jump without a parachute.

Future will tell how long this phase in my life will last - it might be just this one year, it might be a few years, or a decade. I don't know, and I don't need to know. I've got enough of waiting and planning my life - I want to live it, NOW. Working 5 months a year at the cemetery and not needing to pay a rent of the family farmhouse will save me enough money to travel during the winters - with Work & Travel visa or doing volunteer work, or whatever I find. Wanderlust is killing me, and I'm done fighting it - I want to travel and see the world before it's too late! If this is what I really want, if it makes me happy, if I'm ready to deal with the consequences and I can afford it, I think the rest is none of anyone else's business.  Life is choices, and (thank God) we're all free to do our own choices. This is my choice.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not fearless or taking all this too lightly. Far from that. To tell you the truth, I'm pretty terrified. Once I sign the papers at the university, there's no going back - I'll be on my own. This means kind of jumping out of the society and its safety net. There has always been a little anarchist inside of me, and it likes to think that if I'm not asking anything from the society, the society won't be able to ask anything from me. For me it's all about freedom, living your live the way you love it. Isn't that the most important thing in life? We only have this one life, and it's going fast. Why waste your precious time doing things you don't find interesting? Why ask others' opinions when it's about you and your life? All good questions which I've been asking myself lately.

I get a feeling I'm just repeating myself and desperately explaining my motives. I knew it would be difficult to explain all this, but I didn't know it would be this hard. All this is so ultimately personal, it's hard to work it out into written form, you know (if you don't believe me, just try to write down why you are doing what you're doing!). But I tried, because for once in my life I wanted to explain why I'm doing what I'm doing. Let's say this was the first and last time. I don't care so much about others' opinions, and generally I don't have any need to explain myself to those who don't understand. Let's make a deal - I live my life my way, you live your life your way, and it's all just great as long as we're both happy. Deal?

yours truly-

ps. sorry for this too long and messed up post. I just really needed to get all this out of my chest. After this we can return to my semi-boring daily life, I promise ;-)

take it from someone who knows

You know those books where little children ponder life and answer philosophical questions in their own adorable way? Well, today at the library I found a similar kind of book, but done with elderly people, and I love it! :-) I mean... after you've lived 70 or 80 years, you must know something about something, right? The book is called Lev livet, der går inte i repris, which translates into something like "Live your life, you're going to die anyway". I just want to share some of my favorite quotes with you, and I hope you like them as much as I did :-) Have a nice week & see you! xxo
yours truly-

ps. translations are all by me, so sorry for any odd sentences and stuff.

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What is the best part of being old?
Age doesn't matter that much... I mean, unless you're a bottle of wine or a piece of expensive cheese.
Arvid, 79

What is the meaning of life?
All that talk about how everything in life should be safe and stable... in my opinion, people are just fooling themselves. Life simply isn't safe or stable, but in the worst case it can be boring. Life is an adventure or nothing. Take it from someone who knows.
Stig, 79

What has been the best moment of your life?
I've had such a wonderful life! But only after getting older I've realized how fantastic it really has been. I've lived in South America, I've been married, I've had lovers, I've gone out and danced at the finest restaurants till morning... I have children and grandchildren, and I have souveniers from all over the world. And the bad things have been good too. For example getting fired from a hotel turned out to be the best thing ever happened to me! I don't think I would have travelled so much if I wasn't fired.
Stina, 82
 
If you could live your life all over again from the beginning, what would you do differently?
The hardest thing to live with is a guilty conscience. If I could live my life all over again, that's something I'd like to change. I would always follow my intution, my gut. I wouldn't fool myself, I wouldn't pretend to be anything I'm not. I believe that's the secret of a happy life. 
Sture, 70


Do you have any regrets?
The only sin in life is to be average.
Nils, 75

I don't regret things I did, only things I didn't do.
Magdalena, 71

I regret things I didn't do. I think I regret being too scared to take any risks. Sometimes I think of that... how I was too afraid of failing to even try anything new. I regret I never really lived my life for myself. I only lived to please the others. That's something I really regret.
Anna-Stina, 66

If you could give one piece of advice to someone young, what would you tell him/her?
Never ponder whether you have succeeded or failed. Instead, make sure you really live your life. You'll have time for thinking after you're dead.
Harry, 68

The most important thing is to be excited about life, to be hungry for it. That's my piece of advice. Do only things you're really passionate about, something you really want to do. That way, everything will work out for you. And keep your feet warm!
Karin, 88

My only piece of advice would be this: don't try to please everyone! It will only make you miserable and stop you from doing what you'd really like to do. And before you know, you'll sit there, playing bridge with all the other old ladies.
Linnea, 75

I always tell my grandchildren they should really travel as much as possible and explore the world as long as they're young. There's so much to see in this world. So, if you have an opportunity, go and travel!
Britta, 73

What is the most important thing in life?
I think everyone dreams about love and adventures. Unfortunately, many people give up without even trying to reach their dreams. Too many people are prisoners of their own fears. Life will be over before we know it. If you have a car, drive! If you have money, use it! If you have loving people around you, love them! What the hell are all these people waiting for?
Greta, 70

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